is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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