I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize