I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize