all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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