So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
