I accidentally had phone sex last night
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
