I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
