He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
