Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
