somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
