What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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