Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
