I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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