so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just high enough for therapy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
