dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
