google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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