Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
