I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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