And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
