Dual....:-)
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
