Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
