Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
