You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
