It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
