Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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