Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i came on her dog
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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