Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
