I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
