Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
