Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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