I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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