And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
