So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
