what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
two words: eviction party
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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