That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
whose parrot is this?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize