They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
