Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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