Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
