Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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