You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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