TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
His nipple licking is glorious
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