Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I look better un-naked...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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