Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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