Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
