Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
