I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
