She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
