she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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