If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
