i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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