did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
