my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is the high leading the old right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
