Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
