she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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