Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
