hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize