if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
