I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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