I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize