Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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