my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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