if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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