Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
ttyl tear gas
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize