shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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