i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
