its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
